A hero, according to Daniel Webster, is defined as:
1 a : a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability b : an illustrious warrior c : a person admired for his or her achievements and noble qualities d : one that shows great courage.
Hero is a word that gets used a lot. Certainly there are many who show great courage, and there are many people who could be admired for their achievements and noble qualities, but so few of us are endowed with great strength and abilities due to our grandparents who live on Mount Olympus.
If we tried, collectively we could come up with a long list of both archetypical and personal heroes.
Recently President Barack Obama made a trip to China. It was all over the news. And President Obama’s trip is what got me thinking about this idea of being a hero.
It must be very hard work to be a hero.
Today is the 314th day of the presidency of Barack Obama. Think back, all the way back, to January 20th, Inauguration Day. Where were you? I know where I was. I was at school. The entire Meadville Lombard community came together and watched the Inauguration on a big screen. There was a lot of weeping for joy, and we were probably not alone in that.
But it has been an embattled 314 days, hasn’t it?
Just think back over the summer and all of the town meetings held about Health Care reform. Part of me was very happy that so many people turned out for discussions about the political process, and seemed to be interested in the democratic process (our 5th Principle!), but I was very disheartened by the way people chose to express themselves. There was an utter lack of not only respect, but what I would call common decency in the way people chose to express themselves.
Please understand that I am not making a political statement here, nor am I endorsing the policies of any one party over those of another. This is not about politics. This is about the difficult job of being a hero.
Before the President went to China, he did not have a meeting with the Dali Lama, the exiled spiritual leader of Tibet. And people were plenty upset about that, too. But really, the President was in a difficult situation.
He was about to go to meet with President Hu Jintao. President Hu is the leader of China, one of our biggest trading partners, growing industrial power, and potentially the world’s next super power.
President Obama knows about the Dali Lama, and he knows about the human rights abuses. But he also knows that we are a trade deficit, that we have our own human rights abuses to deal with.
And yet here Obama was, caught between our country’s need for trade for economic growth, and our citizen’s needs to recognize a difficult situation regarding Tibet and the Dali Lama.
Before this turns into an apology and apologetic of Obama’s 314 days in office, let me point out to you why I used his story as an illustration.
When there are two seemingly diametrically opposed sets of needs, it’s hard to create a win-win situation.
A very close friend and mentor of mine and I were talking about Obama’s presidency recently. She is a life long liberal, and introduced me to the term “red diaper baby,” meaning that her parents were extreme leftists from her childhood. She’s worked for decades in the political system of her home city. She told me “When Obama was first elected, I felt like I was walking with him. I celebrated, I cried, I was elated. But as this year has gone on, and decisions have been made, or delayed by political process, I feel like we’re no longer walking side by side. Sometimes I bump into him, or he bumps in to me, or he walks so far ahead that I can’t see him around the corner.”
This is how our heroes get tarnished. We begin to see that they are human beings. We bump into their reality.
Sure, it’s easy to hero worship superheroes or fictional heroes, or human heroes who are no longer alive, who’s short-comings have been erased by time. One can easily admire the poetry of Walt Whitman for example, and think about his genius. And that’s much easier when you don’t have to watch him get food caught in his moustache as he eats. Abraham Lincoln’s words are to this day inspiring and carry great weight, but when delivered with a high reedy voice, which he is reported to have had, some of their gravitas might be lost.
I’m here suggesting that we be gentler with our heroes.
Unlike Wonder Woman, the personal heroes I have in my life are just people. They have bad hair days, and sometimes they don’t feel like being heroic. Worse yet, sometimes they make mistakes of judgment.
When this happens, you can either abandon them as your hero, you can shun them, or you can reach out to them. One of my classmates at Meadville Lombard Theological School is a Buddhist minister in Rissho Kosei-Kai. I thank the Universe almost daily for bringing him into my life. I have learned so much from him.
One lesson I have learned from him is that we are all Bodhisattvas. A Bodhisattva is a teacher.
When your hero, or teacher, or Bodhisattva, stumbles and shows their human frailty, you can become the bodhisattva of the moment, and teach the importance of compassion by showing compassion.
You can step up to the plate, so to speak, and let your highest self be gentle with your hero. This will be good for both you and your hero. Your hero will be shown love and caring. Living heroically in this world takes a lot of energy and effort, it is good to offer some in return to those living heroically. It will be good for you, because you will begin to realize your own bodhisattva nature, the hero within you.
We’ve just entered the 6 week-long sprint in America called “the holidays.” What’s that line from that Christmas Carol “There’ll be much mistletoeing and hearts will be glowing on and on and on….” That’s a lot of pressure.
There are presents to buy, which is stressful. At my house we’re having a cookie party, where everyone is supposed to be bringing a batch of home-made cookies. There are parties to attend, and a lot of red and green to wear, and on top of all that there is the emotional baggage of Christmases long, long ago. Hap-happiest season of all? Maybe.
I’d like to invite you to close your eyes for a moment. Place your feet on the ground and relax. When you hear the sound of a bell, you may re-open your eyes.
Call to mind a favorite holiday moment from the past.
Who is there with you?
Are there any particular smells, like cookies or pine?
What makes this moment special for you?
(ring bell twice.)
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that the moment you picked was not the moment you were driving around the mall parking lot, searching for a spot.
We’re all under a lot of pressure for the next six weeks, to make as many amazing, life-long memories as we can. Probably we’re under pressure to make more of those memories than are humanly possible.
Cookies to make
Presents to buy
Homes to decorate
People to please
Parties to attend
And all that on top of our already busy schedules.
One would have to be a superhero to do it all, and do it flawlessly.
And you’re only a regular hero.
So be gentle with yourself. Take care of yourself during this busy time. Take time for a cup of tea, or coffee. Have a moment where you just stop and look around your home and allow the gratitude, for the imperfections and good things in your life, allow that gratitude to flow over you.
Try this at least once a week.
Try this year-round.
Be kind to yourself, especially in times of stress. It’s often hard to remember that, but try.
Because you are a hero, to someone, be gentle with yourself.
Many blessings on your journey.
