Shall We Gather?

I'm about to confess something that I thought I might never say.

I'm pretty close to being "churched-out."

Your Board of Trustees and I have just returned from our annual retreat together, and it was a doozy! 

We engaged in spiritual development work together and THEN after doing that tried to see how our own individual developments fit together, or didn't, and how we might bring our work back to the congregation.

There was a lot of discussion about how and why we gather together, which dovetails quite nicely with Roy's music this morning.  I don't know whether I should thank both Roy and The Universe for that, or just enjoy a happy coincidence.

What is it about human beings and our need to gather in community? 

Being together can be messy, uncomfortable, challenging and sometimes down right difficult.

And yet we do. We gather.

We are not like other solitary animals in the world. We do not get born, pass through adolescence and strike out on our own, like the male lion or the female black widow.

Even if we do strike out on our own from our family of origin, we create a new community, sometimes even what's called a "family of choice."  Or as I heard the Rev. Mark Bellatini said once, "After many years and  heartbreaks, I have come to love my horizontal family, and my vertical, or biological, family."

It was the support of Rev. Mark's horizontal family, the family he created for himself, that helped him to make peace with the family he was born into.

Churches are often described in terms of a family. Ministers study both family systems and church systems, and many of the models overlap.

Back home in Chicago, I have church aunties. There is Betty, Bette, Joan, Madieria, Evelyn and Cindy. There used to also be Polly and Ann, but they have passed on.

My church aunties have as much authority in my life as the aunts who are related to me by blood, some have more.

These are the ladies who taught me so very much about how to navigate the world in a new way, in the way that my class-jumping education required of me. They are my mentors, and when I go home to visit Chicago if I don't see them in church, oooo there is trouble!

In fact, Betty's daughter and granddaughter recently moved to Oakland, and I got a call from her. "Jala has moved to California, I want to know how far you are from her, because she's out there without any other family."

Any   "other"  family.

It doesn't matter to Betty, or to Jala or her daughter, that they are African American and I am not. What matters is that we have a church family connection.

If we can let ourselves relax into our communal relationship, there are so very many benefits. Yes, it might be a little scary at first. Letting one's guard down can be very frightening. By the time you've reached the age that you are, the world has kicked you around a bit.

I can say this with confidence because by the time each of us has reached kindergarten, the world has already gotten in our way.

In my time here already I have seen the bonds of a church family.  I have talked before about the time I was new here and I was so moved by the fact that 10% of this entire community showed up at Martin Zonglit's Memorial, each with a job to do at the memorial and the team, though I doubt they'd use that word, worked like a well-oiled machine of caring. More than 10% of course came to honor Martin, but that isn't so surprising, after all he was a long time member and very active. 

I mentioned this at our retreat this weekend, and then others said "Well, about 10% of our whole community works regularly with Bill on shelter meals," and "about 10% of us went to the City Council meeting with you last year," and about 10% of us .... and the list goes on.

So, this got me really thinking about 10%. What is it with that number? 

I have to and want to tell you that 10% is a very respectable chunk of people from a church to show up to do work together.  And it's not always the same 10% who show up, either.

One of the exercises  we did this weekend was to think about a goal. And then we were asked to come up with three categories for that goal.

What is the minimum result of this goal that you can live with?
What is the actual goal?
What is something that you can imagine that would make this goal an outrageous success? 

10% of a congregation showing up and working together is a good goal. It's a laudable goal, and you should be very proud that this happens regularly here.  But what would be an outrageous goal? 90% participation? 

That would be outrageous and amazing. 

Imagine a project where we could 90% of the congregation could agree to work on one project together, may be a project with multiple facets. 

So the Board agreed that one of the tasks they would take on this year was to figure out what sort of a project would ignite the passion of this congregation. What sort of social justice work would resonate with enough people that 90% of the congregation would focus energy on one project.

In order to do this, the Board wants us all to have coffee together. In the coming weeks, the Board is going to start having conversations with people about finding out what our community-wide passion is. This will take time, which members of your Board of Trustees are willing to invest, outside of their regular duties, to help bring into fruition.

Because this is a big undertaking, the Board will be recruiting some help. In it's current, but developing form, there'll be a few open ended questions that you'll each be asked, and then we'll gather all the information and present it to the congregation.

I hope that when they call you up to meet for coffee, or to take a little time during social hour, you will do your best to meet with them. It's for the good of the whole.

What we have here is a lovely and loving community. The Rev. Sonya Sukalski, who led our Board retreat this weekend, said to me "What a fine Board. They really care deeply about their work and each other."

I have seen people try to care for each other, which is such a beautiful thing. Karen Odell has issued a standing offer to help Jane Fenton come to church. I have seen Kathy Conrotto and Ann Krabach help Aileen Olmheim time after time. We have people check and re-check to make sure that Ted and April can move around our sanctuary unencumbered, week after week.  

There's a line in "What a Wonderful World" that gets me every time. "I see friends shaking hands, saying How do you do? They're really saying 'I Love You."

To me, that's church.

We are in a year of transition. Of course, this is actually year 3 of a transition, but who's counting?

By this time next year your new minister will be in the office where I now work, they will be standing behind this pulpit, and have just spent a weekend with the Board on retreat, working on a direction for the congregation for that year, and likely beyond.

While things are especially fluid, it is a good time to do things like look at the congregation's 5 year plan, an effort which is being led by Brittney Miller. It's a good time to re-evaluate the church's finances, led by John Patton, who is working side by side with Doreen Souza and Mary Lee.

It's a good time to look at a lot of things.  What is the gift this congregation offers to the Central Valley?

This Fellowship contains both amazing power and amazing potential.

These questions about direction and mission are not for me to answer, but for you, the collective you, to answer. This is work you must do together. It may well be work that brings you closer together, closer to being a church family.

Roy just told us a story and we sang "Shall We Gather By the River."*

There may not be an actual river here on this property, maybe only a metaphorical one, and the answer to the question "Shall We Gather?" is yes.

You bet we should. 

*Guest musician Roy Zimmerman

© The Rev. Joe Cherry

Written for and presented to

The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Stanislaus County

August 18, 2013